Military Arrests Former IRS Director Charles Rettig

United States Marines on Friday arrested former IRS Director Charles Rettig on charges alleging that he took a 1% cut of every federal income tax payment for the 2021 fiscal year and sheltered the cash in anonymous offshore accounts, a JAG source told Real Raw News.

For perspective, if a tax filer “owed” and paid the government $700, Rettig got seven dollars; if a taxpayer owed $3,000,000, Rettig pilfered $30,000. The IRS collected $4.38 trillion that year, which means Rettig burgled $40 billion, which he deposited into shell accounts in Switzerland, Belize, Singapore, Hong Kong, and the Cayman Islands—a hefty retirement nest egg.

Rettig was appointed by President Donald J. Trump in 2018 at the urging of his son-in-law, Jared Kushner, and former Vice President Michael Pence, both of whom told Trump that “Rettig is the right man for the right job and will clean up the Internal Revenue Service.”

Rettig retired in November 2022, replaced by the equally despicable Danny Werfel.

Real Raw News has in the past chronicled Rettig’s maniacal behavior. In September 2022, while addressing a class of new hires at the ‘Dallas Tax Assistance Center’, Rettig told future members of the Service’s heavily armed Criminal Investigation Division, “Show me the money…Get their money, our money,” and giddily discussed the inception of the IRS’s new sniper school.

The military took an increased interest in Rettig in May 2023, when White Hats received a credible tip that Rettig had developed a sudden interest in pricey real estate. Over 60 days, Rettig, who earned $91,000 annually and had a net worth of ~$5 million at the height of his career, scooped up a dozen multimillion-dollar properties in the U.S. and abroad. He also bought a $19 million 2003 Benetti superyacht.

“If a broke, unemployed guy living in a trailer park robs a bank and then flashes his money around with big expenditures, well, you know what, people take notice, and that’s how they get caught. The Deep Staters, you’d think they’d be more inconspicuous, but, man, these guys love spending money,” our source said.

White Hats at U.S. Army Cyber Command (ARCYBER) began probing Rettig’s financials. A ‘boots on the ground’ team hacked the router at Rettig’s Los Angeles address and accessed an encrypted spreadsheet that held transactional details on every dollar he had illicitly appropriated from taxpaying citizens. The spreadsheet, our source said, had the dates and times of each deposit, as well as routing and account numbers. Moreover, Rettig had unwisely digitally documented his criminality, noting outgoing wire transfers to the real estate brokers and the Yacht Seller.

Our source said JAG does not believe Rettig had the authority, intelligence, or confidence to execute such an immense financial crime unilaterally.

“Rettig is diabolical, but he must’ve had help from above, and we suspect Janet Yellen. Our working theory is that Rettig was the cash mule, that he’d be keeping a sizable chunk of that pot and dispersing the rest to his Deep State friends. They must’ve flipped when they saw him spending money like it grew on trees. If Yellen’s involved, we’ll get her, but for now, we got Rettig,” our source said, supplying a few details on Rettig’s capture.

On July 27, Rettig and a female companion who was not his wife hopped a flight from Los Angeles to Miami, where he and his friend booked a suite at the Intercontinental Hotel on Biscayne Bay. Unbeknownst to Rettig, undercover Marines beat him to Miami and had him under surveillance. They rented an adjoining room and, with parabolic microphones, eavesdropped on the lascivious couple’s conversations. Rettig, a self-proclaimed Christian and father of three, was the antithesis of the God-fearing family man he pretended to be.

That evening, Marines tailed the depraved duo to Flemming’s Steak House & Wine Bar, where they feasted on tomahawk steak and sautéed maitake mushrooms and imbibed three bottles of vintage Dom Perignon, whereafter they sped back to the hotel in a rented sports coupe, with an inebriated Rettig bowling through two red lights.

The Marines overheard Rettig’s companion bewailing his inability to perform.

The following day Rettig tried rousing his companion from bed so they could spend time at the beach, but she told him to go solo because she had a horrific hangover and needed bed rest. The Marines followed Rettig across the causeway to South Pointe Beach, a popular tourist destination with panoramic views of the South Beach shoreline, the Port of Miami’s cruise ships, and Downtown Miami’s skyline.

The Marines were watching as Rettig struggled to find a parking spot, and struggled more clumsily carrying a beach umbrella with one arm and a cooler with the other. He’d taken only six steps from the car when the cooler slipped his grasp and hit the ground, scattering soda cans and bottled water. Rettig had no way of knowing that the shirtless guy in Bermuda shorts offering to help him was one of the Marines sent to arrest him.

Rettig graciously accepted the aid, admitting he was unbalanced and tipsy. He didn’t become suspicious until the Marine steered him away from the path leading to the beach toward four other men in Bermuda shorts, all of whom formed a circle around him.

“What is this?” Rettig reportedly asked. “Robbery? I have no cash on me.”

As the Marines informed him that he was being placed under military arrest for treason against the people of the United States, an SUV with two more Marines pulled alongside them.

“This must be a joke,” Rettig said.

“It’s no joke,” a Marine replied, opening the rear door.

Rettig then promised to give the Marines $250,000 to forget they saw him.

“We’ll add that to the list of charges against you,” a Marine told him.

Our source said that Rettig was cuffed and taken to a JAG processing center in South Florida.

“So far, he’s not talking. No surprise there. But we have additional, substantive evidence to bring out at his tribunal, including cooperating witnesses. We’re chipping away at the woodpile,” our source said.